Thursday, June 27, 2013

Wedding planning, lessons learned

My wedding is fast approaching in 9 days, and I feel both ready and as if there are still a million things to do. This will likely be my last post for a while, so please bear with me until late July or August, when I will be moved, finished writing thank-you's, sleeping regular hours, caught up editing pictures and back to a schedule of some sorts.
In the meantime, and before the wedding day arrives and this all fades into the past, I want to share some of the things I learned during this process. The nitty gritty, drove me crazy or went especially well things. Maybe they'll help you keep your sanity when planning a wedding or other large event some day.
1. Register, even if you don't need anything. Register at a store where you do need a few things, so that you can return unnecessary gifts and put the difference toward something you will use. We did not register because my groom lives in a house previously occupied by his grandparents, and I also lived alone before returning to the ranch. This means we have duplicates or triplicates of just about every kitchen item and about 65 towels. What we do not have between the two of us are new (or even close to new) appliances. Plus, his house is an older home, which means it could use some updating in places. So, we said gifts weren't expected, but if anyone wanted to purchase something for us, gift cards to home improvement stores would be greatly appreciated.
Then, to add to the fire that the no gift announcement sparked with certain invitees, I had a coffee themed shower. Instead of the traditional kitchenware gifts, we asked for recipes and something coffee related, because again, I already have three sets of measuring cups, a stack of pot holders, and so on.
Some people were thrilled with the idea of something different. Some were not. The standard response of the not thrilled folks was they were buying us towels because it was ridiculous to buy someone something like coffee for a shower gift, and we never let them know what we really needed.
So, I reiterate, unless you want to have multiple conversations with the people sporting this attitude, and an even bigger pile of towels, just register. I finally did register prior to the shower and let all the people who were asking know, and not one item has been purchased off the registry, so I'm not sure if it's a solution to these people, but at least it allows you to nicely say you have a registry with a variety of options on it.
2. Everyone doesn't need an answer immediately. While I am very blessed to have a lot of willing and talented people helping me with my wedding, they all have questions, concerns, ideas and thoughts they want to run by me, the bride. There are about a dozen of them, and one of me. My computer literally receives messages almost non-stop, and this is probably due in part to there being no cell phone service where I live. But, whenever I get into service, I usually have a slew of texts and calls about wedding related stuff as well. While it's great that so many people want to help, it can be overwhelming too. To keep up, with both my daily tasks and the questions, I finally stopped replying to everyone immediately, realizing it was the only thing I was going to get done. Now I try to sit down a couple mornings a week and answer wedding related stuff for an hour or so, then get back to my other tasks. Giving everyone the time and attention they need is important when they're helping make your big day perfect, but it can't be at the expense of everything else you have to get done.
3. Try on dresses at more than one store if that store doesn't come highly recommended. I tried on, and subsequently purchased, my dress at a newer David's Bridal store. I just walked in to make an appointment and the store was empty so they let me try on dresses for 2 hours. I came back for a second visit and found my dress. The sales people were fantastic. But, from that point on it has not exactly been smooth sailing. The people have all remained friendly, professional and easy to work with, but I deal with a new person every time I go in. Their suggestion for making my slip fit under my dress was to fold it over, as in they would not alter it. Then, when I went in for my final dress fitting and pickup in mid-June, they had messed up my alterations - alterations that ended up costing double what they quoted me. Fortunately it was just too long and consequently the bustle also didn't work. Again, the guy, yes guy, I dealt with that time was great, but the result is I have to drive 3 hours one way the Wednesday before my wedding for a second final dress fitting.
4. People will come and people will go. There will be people you like and that mean a lot to you and/or the groom that simply will not come, with no good reason for missing your big event. There will be other people who mean a lot to you who will not be able to come for good reason, and who will let you know. There will be people who will rearrange their entire year, drive hundreds of miles, and show up early just to help and be there for you. It's a series of highs and lows as you realize who you mean a lot to and who you don't, and you will be able to tell the difference. Be prepared for a few stings and a few elated moments as folks call to let you know why they won't be able to attend, or that they wouldn't miss it for the world.

Those are some of the biggies we've encountered while planning our big day. At this point we're both really excited to wrap up the planning, be married, enjoy our reception, and leave for a week on our honeymoon.

1 comment:

  1. First, Congratulations! I hope you have a wonderful day filled with love and precious memories. Enjoy the time with family and friends. Although it was LONG a go...I still remember the feeling of "it is me and him" against the world. The marriage bond is so special - remember to make him feel special too...enjoy your honeymoon. We look forward to seeing your pictures when you return to blogging. Blessings from Ringle, WI.